“Blah blah blah…”
people. (Or is it WE are the ones saying ‘blah blah blah’?)
In either case, I’ve noticed something lately. Let’s see if you recognize it, too…
You’re talking to somebody about their house, and when you ask them to describe their situation, they just seem to go on & on about how wonderful the house is OR how terrible what their Uncle Lou just did, or how their health is failing, etc.
And that’s when we come up with a one-word thought: “Bor-ing!”
Who cares!? Just get to the numbers! Am I right??
If you really listen intently, you can hear it.
important about their medical bills that they cause you to have to stay on the phone an extra minute or two (Or twenty) and miss part of your next reality show?
Well, quite possibly everything! Believe it or not, they’re actually giving you the secrets to selling them! Or buying their house from them, if that’s what you’re trying to do.
While I’m not advocating that you just totally be quiet & let them dominate the conversation (you’ll never get off the phone that way!), I would suggest that you lead the conversation BUT make sure that you LISTEN to exactly what they’re saying when they respond to your answers.
Listen. Too often we, as the so-called ‘professional’ will open our mouths to fill in the ‘awkward’ gaps in conversation, when instead, a moment or two of silence will work to your advantage. TRUST ME!
To illustrate my point, let me tell you about a deal I did a few years ago that lead me to getting a house totally free & clear for FREE! Just because I SHUT UP when I otherwise would have talked & therefore ruined the whole thing…
There was a gentleman facing foreclosure that was referred to me by one of my bank contacts. He owed about $63,000 between the first & second mortgages, both held by the same bank.
Believe me, I was sooooo tempted to stop him a few times to ‘get back to the numbers.’ He kept going on & on about his house & his situation. I recall feeling like I was about to fall asleep on more than one occasion.
BUT if I had not had the chance to listen to how he had raised his family in the house, I never would have established the right rapport with him which later lead to the beautiful thing that happened… (Stay tuned). So I slapped myself awake & kept listening.
Next, I spoke to the bank & made a discounted offer on the mortgages. Because of the location & condition of the house, along with my presentation of my case & the bank’s motivation, they accepted my offer.
What was my offer? For only $5,000 total for both mortgages!
They say that even a blind squirrel can occasionally find a nut.
You’ll see why in a second.
When the bank accepted my offer, they also let the owner know that they were doing so for only $5,000. I didn’t know that, so when I talked to him to get the next step set up, he surprised me when he said, “Tony, the bank let me know that they’ve accepted the offer for the $5,000.”
things, but instead remained silent.
me to keep my big mouth shut.
Thank God I did! Because what he said next shocked me!
He told me, “I just want to let you know that I can pay that within a couple weeks.”!!!
Did you catch that? THE OWNER WAS GOING TO FUND MY SHORT SALE!!
I literally had to bite my tongue for a moment, then calmly said, “Ok. We need to get together to take care of some paperwork. When would be good for you – tomorrow or Thursday?” (I hoped he couldn’t hear me jumping up & down!)
It gets better! When we finally got together to take care of the deed, power of attorney, etc. (Yeah, this should have been one of the first things we did, but I told you I was new at the time!), I had told him to bring all his paperwork with him regarding the house.
Of course, this had to be paid somehow, sooooo…
I decided to test my ‘new powers’ of silence in a negotiation. When I came across this paper, I just held it up & looked at him with a questioning look on my face.
And it worked! Within only 2-3 seconds of ‘uncomfortable’ silence, he said, “uhhh… I can pay that, too.”
Yes! This means that I now owned this house totally free and clear…and it didn’t cost me a PENNY! Well, I take it back, I did buy his wife & him a couple chicken sandwiches for dinner. Hey, it was the least I could do, right?
I have never forgotten the lesson I learned that day. Even now, I have found that by keeping my big mouth shut & listening more, I have been able to negotiate some sweet deals in both business & life.
Human nature never ceases to amaze me when people think that silence is bad, so they have to fill it with unneeded goobly-dee-gook & words in a conversation!
But why not try it for yourself. The next time you’re in rapport with someone in a conversation, try just being a little more quiet during some key moments.
will try to fill in those ‘spaces’ in conversation with unneeded words.
Next, keep this in mind when you’re in a negotiation with someone.
And how do you do that? By LISTENING to them! (Among other things, which I’ll happily cover in a future post)
You can use it to your mutual advantage later.
moment & watch the magic happen!
When you’re talking to a seller (or buyer), just ask them,
And then… (pardon me for being blunt) SHUT UP & LISTEN!!!
If you pay attention to what they tell you & not just ‘glaze over’, they will quite literally give you the keys to their house, putting untold wealth in your pockets!
Silence IS golden.
And the right use of it can bring you untold riches!
At the very least, it’ll help give you some peace & quiet…from yourself! LOL
Finally, a wise man once said that “it is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool
than to open it and remove all doubt.”