A Cowboy Living Behind Enemy Lines
I’ve lived all over the place.
I’ve traveled to Europe, South & Central America, and the Caribbean.
But for some strange reason, I keep coming back to the East Coast.
The Washington, D.C. Metro area, specifically.
In 2009, I sold my house of 12 years in University Park, MD (near College Park-Go Terps!)
took my sons & moved in with my girlfriend in Reston, VA.
I love it here! We get the 4 seasons (HATE the winter, though),
the schools are the best in the country, and the people are nice.
Oh, and there’s lots of cool stuff to do here.
There’s Just ONE Slight Problem…
It’s REDSKINS territory!
Why should that matter?
UUuhhhhhhh… because I’m a die-hard DALLAS COWBOYS FAN!!
The DEADskins are our sworn enemy.
Before we moved here, my girl lived in Ashburn, VA.
And if you know anything about the stinkin’ Skins,
you’d know that that’s where their training facility is!
Around December 2008, I think it was, we were driving by the facility,
known as Redskins Park, and saw that the gate was open.
My girlfriend & I each had our sons with us, so we thought it would be cool
to at least drive in & check it out.
Even though it was the ‘Skins compound, it was still a Professional Football Facility.
…Although the ‘Skins were coached by Jim Zorn at the time & wound up finishing
the season 4-12, so one might argue about the “professional” part. hahaha.
As we drove in to the compound, we were surprised to notice the lack of cars
in the parking lot. This encouraged us, so I parked & got everyone to get out so that we could take a look around.
Except for a couple of assistant coaches terribly kicking punts to each other, the practice fields were empty.
It was freezing cold outside, so we started running around a little bit to keep us warm…
And to get a feel of the artificial turf we were standing on.
I hadn’t been on a football field in a few years, and as I began moving around to stay warm, I started to feel a little bit of the rush I used to get back in my playing days.
And then I noticed the Redskins Emblem in the middle of the field.
In an instant, a thought & a feeling hit me at the same time.
I knew what I had to do.
Everyone else was far away from me, doing their own thing.
I casually walked over to this despised emblem – the symbol of my enemy.
I squatted to one knee… Not to pray, but to make what I was about to do not so obvious.
I peed right there in the middle of the field – right on the ‘helmet’
colored in to the turf that represented my team’s archenemy.
I know it was wrong. And I don’t think I’d do it again.
But for 30 glorious (and relaxing) seconds, I felt happy there in the freezing cold.
I had successfully gone behind enemy lines & marked my territory!
Shortly after that, an old guy who was the security guard for the compound politely came over and reminded us that this was private property, and we’d have to go now.
I noticed that the assistant coaches on the other field were staring at us.
I told him that it was no problem, and thanks for letting us look around a little while.
And then we get back in to the car, turned on the heater full blast & left.
So now, as a new season begins, and my Cowboys are starting it off by sucking
at a lousy 0-2, including an opening-day loss to the afore-mentioned ‘Skins,
I can at least take some small satisfaction that one day, a couple years ago,
I pissed on the Redskins Practice Field in Ashburn, VA. Right on the emblem.
And somehow, that makes me feel a little bit better about things.