Tony Pearl
Author Archives: Tony Pearl


For Carmen:

Merry Christmas, Baby!!

Here’s one of your presents…


FREE Dance Lessons!
Taught by a Qualified Professional: ME!!

This Coupon is Good for 3 Hour-Long Dance Lessons, to be redeemed by my baby, Carmen.

You may select from any of the awesome, classic dances, including Tango, Foxtrot, Cha-Cha, Swing, etc.

To Redeem your valuable coupon, simply present it to Tony, and we will schedule your first lesson. Please Be On Time and Respect Your Teacher!

Our Loving Home in Reston



Cold Weather Tips for When It’s Freezing Outside

As I write this, it’s a balmy 27 degrees outside.

In my vernacular, “It’s frickin’ freezing!!”

I live in the Washington, D.C. area – Reston, VA, to be specific.
Last year, we got like 8 or 9 FEET of snow,¬†which is normal…
IF you live in Saskatchewan or New England
or Michigan or whatever, but NOT for us here in the Mid-Atlantic.

I just pray that this year is not the same as last.

Yeah, the snow was beautiful & fun… for a while.
But it kept coming, and coming.
And then it came some more.
And then it came again!

It snowed so much here last year that they came up with fancy names for it,
like “Snowmageddon,” or “Snowtorious B.I.G.”
Cute, right?

Anyway, when you’re snowed in & everything is frozen,
it makes you think of a lot of stuff –
like how can I get more toilet paper?

But also things like “How can I get my car to work better,
or to not freeze up so much.  Practical stuff like that.

I mean, when you get up early in the morning & have to go to
work (thank God I don’t have to deal w/ that crap any more),
and your car has ice all over it & the key almost breaks in the lock,
you wonder if there’s something that can ¬†be done to prevent that
from happening, right?  Right?

So I’m here to help!

I just got an email from an ol’ friend of mine who’s originally from Michigan.
She had some great tips to share, so I thought I’d pass them on to you!

And since I’m the one sharing them now, I came up with this cute name for ’em:

Tony’s Terrific Tips to Tame the Terrible Cold:
(I couldn’t think of something cold that starts w/ T)

Keep Your Headlights Clear with Car Wax –
Just wipe ordinary car wax on your headlights.
It contains special water repellents that will prevent that messy mixture from accumulating on your lights – lasts 6 weeks

Squeak-proof your wipers with Rubbing Alcohol –
Wipe the wipers with a cloth saturated with rubbing alcohol or ammonia.
This one trick can make badly streaking & squeaking wipers change to near perfect silence & clarity.

Ice-proof your windows with Vinegar
Frost on it’s way? Just fill a spray bottle with three parts vinegar
to one part water & spritz it on all your windows at night.
In the morning, they’ll be clear of icy mess.
Vinegar contains acetic acid, which raises the melting point of water—
preventing water from freezing!

Prevent car doors from freezing shut with Cooking Spray –
Spritz cooking oil on the rubber seals around car doors
& rub it in with a paper towel.
The cooking spray prevents water from melting into the rubber.

Fog-proof your windshield with Shaving Cream¬†–
Spray some shaving cream on the inside of your windshield
& wipe if off with paper towels.
Shaving cream has many of the same ingredients found in commercial defoggers.

De-ice your lock in seconds with Hand Sanitizer –
Just put some hand sanitizer gel on the key & the lock & the problems solved!

Aren’t those tips cool?
I mean – you’ve got cooking ingredients (vinegar, cooking spray),
Shaving Cream, Hand Sanitizer, etc. in this list!

It’s like you’re getting ready to take your car out on a date or something!

Anyway – I don’t know about you, but I intend to use some of those tips
on my car & my girlfriend’s car right away.

If you use these tips for yourself, won’t you please share the results
here with my other 2 readers??  lol

Thanks & stay warm,


The Cowboys Finally Won a Game!

Wade Phillips had to go.

Recently, I published a post here about the Chilean Miners–
“When Good Things Happen to Good People.”
Something like that.¬† I can’t remember.
After I write something, I’m done – can’t even remember it.
ADD sucks sometimes.

But today’s post is more about when bad (or sad) things happen
to good people.  Wade Phillips is one of the good people.
A few days ago, he got fired as head coach of my favorite football team,
The Dallas Cowboys.

Yes, it was sad.  I feel for the guy.  He tried his best.

But when you have a professional football team as loaded with talent
as the Dallas Cowboys this year, and when your expectations are set
so high as to think you’ll be able to play in the SuperBowl in
your own stadium, AND YOU START THE SEASON AT 1-7,
you’ve GOT to get fired.¬† I’m sorry.¬† That’s just the way it is.
It’s just business.

And how did the Cowboys respond to new (interim) Coach
Jason Garrett, who had been waiting for this opportunity for 2 years?

By laying the SMACK down on the freakin’ New York Giants, 33-20!
Yes, the Giants, who were being considered to be the best
in the NFC!

The truth is, Wade Phillips had overstayed his welcome.
You could argue that he should have been fired a few weeks ago,
like when the Cowboys were 1-4… or maybe 0-2…
You could even say he should have been canned 2 years ago.
Or never hired at all!  Whatever.

In any case, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has made it clear
that he expects to see things moving in a “positive direction” from this point on.

And IF Jason Garrett can get the ‘Boys to continue to play this way
in what could possibly be a meaningless season (or not! It depends on
how the other teams in the division & conference play the rest of the way),
you’d have to argue that he should get that ‘interim’ moniker removed
from his title & be the head coach.

We’ll see.

But so far, he’s off to a great start!

Next up, the feisty Lions.
Despite their record, you can never count them out!
After all, they beat the Redskins… again!!¬† (YES!)

I just wish that their division opponents
(NFC North Bears, Vikings & Packers)
had been able to do the same thing…but NO!
Those bastards had to BEAT the Cowboys
and LOSE to the ‘Skins.¬† WTF?

Ok.  I feel better now.
Thanks for letting me rant.

We now return you to your regularly-scheduled day.

Now go have some more coffee & read the Job Openings,
Wade Phillips.

Until next Sunday,