Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way!

WARNING: What I’m About to Tell You Might Piss You Off…

(NOTE: The intended audience for this article post is Real Estate Investors Who Have Attended several seminars but haven’t done anything yet).



Have I got your attention?

Good!  Listen up.  How many boot camps have you been to? 2? 4? 10?

How many deals have you done yet? 3? 5? 20? …Or 0?

If you haven’t done as many deals or made as much money as you had hoped
by this point, let me ask you a serious but simple question:

Why not?  What’s holding you back?

As Marshall Sylver says, it’s probably one of 2 things…

Either you: 1. Don’t Know What To Do;
Or: 2. You Do Know What to do But You Simply Don’t Take Consistent, Powerful
Action to Get You Where You Want To Be!

Make sense?

Now, before you think I’m giving you a Baptist sermon (no offense if you’re
Baptist), let me tell you that I’ve been there myself.  Both places.
But I found out some truths that have worked for both myself & many others.
With your kind permission, I’d like to share with you what I’ve learned.  It’s
my belief that if you read & apply the contents of this article, you’ll be on a
great path to success!

Of course, when you start out in any new business, you just can’t know what
to do because you haven’t been properly educated yet.  So you ante up & take
the time to learn.  You go to a boot camp or two or three.  Then (hopefully),
you take some action by applying what you’ve learned.  Right?

And if you’re the type of person who reads this newsletter, I can probably
assume that you’ve been to at least one training event by Ron LeGrand®, so
we know you’re being taught properly!  And if you haven’t been to a Ron
LeGrand® event, you’d better call Global Publishing & register for one in a

hurry!  Everybody needs the right education in their chosen field or they’re
sunk!  Shoot, even when Ron himself was starting out 20+ years ago, he got
his education by going to a boatload of seminars taught by the people who
were teaching Real Estate at the time.  Since then, he’s gotten so good, that
those same people come to him now!

But enough about Ron.  Let me ask you something:  Have you ever been to a
boot camp/convention & met someone who has been to a ton of events but
never done a deal? (Are you <gulp> that person?)  It should be painfully
obvious that that person knows what they need to know, but they just aren’t
doing it consistently!

This reminds me of such an individual I kept running in to on ‘the seminar
circuit.’  I’ll call him “John.”  I’m sure you know him.  John knows pretty
houses.  He knows ugly houses.  He knows creative real estate, paper,
commercial, residential, lease options, short sales, probate, subject to,
wholesaling, rehabbing, shim-shamming, AND how to do a triple gainer with
a half twist… on his mother’s side!

John knows it all… Just ask him!  Shoot, he can even quote the teacher
verbatim during the class!  He’s been to just about every real estate event,
But… he hasn’t done any deals yet.

Now, if you ask this guy why he hasn’t done anything, he’ll come up with all
kinds of excuses: “Ummmm, ummmm… My market is too hot”; “There’s too
many investors around”; “My marketing stinks”; “I almost had this one deal,
but it got away”; “Nobody’s buying right now”, “My mommy doesn’t love
me,” “Blah blah blah!”

After a while, it isn’t too surprising to see that John doesn’t have too many
friends/fellow students hanging around him.  And who would want to, right?
I mean, who wants to hang out with a know-it-all, excuse making, crying
wannabe who’s ‘too good & too smart’ for everybody else?

Whew.  I know that’s not you!

But compare John to the successful investor who has gone to a few boot
camps and IS doing deals…  You know who I’m talking about.  If not, just
look around the next time you’re at an event.  Rest assured, he’s the one
who’s got a bunch of people around him, asking questions, buying him
lunches & dinners.  And he’s happy to help!  Let’s call him “Tom.”  Shoot,

Tom might even have his own boot camp some day.  So that’s the guy you
want to know.  Not John.

What’s the difference between “Tom” & “John”?
It’s obvious & simple.  John is all talk & no action.
And Tom – well, he listened, learned, and then simply went out there
AND DID IT!  He made action, not excuses.

What’s your excuse?  Are you waiting to form your corporation before you
make an offer?  Do you think you have to go to every seminar to learn every
trick & tip before you really start to do this business?  Is it just that you’re
getting ready to get ready, or as they say in the South, you’re “fixin’ to” do

Whatever it is, can we be honest here?  You’re just scared, aren’t you?
I mean, you can take ANY excuse there is, slap a label on it & call it
‘uniquely yours.’  But really, it’s all bull____!  In sales, we call it a
‘smokescreen objection.’  When someone keeps coming up with “reasons
why” they ‘can’t’ do or buy something, when in reality there’s a real,
underlying issue that needs to be dealt with.  As soon as we eliminate all the
crap & get to the real reason underneath, we can accomplish miracles!

But to do so means you have to be honest.  With yourself.  Can you do that?
Are you willing & strong enough to do that?  Let me help here a minute and
suggest that you WILL do that only when one of two things happen:

1. The desire to gain all the goodies on
the other side is a lot stronger than the stupid fear that’s holding you back.
(The Desire for Pleasure)

2. When you finally get so sick & tired of being sick & tired of your current
circumstances, and you realize that all the fun, power, and jazz that life has to
offer you is a simple moment’s choice away, watch what happens!
(The Desire to Avoid Pain)

The moment you recognize this, you will begin to change.  When you now
ACT on it, you’ll start to vibrate differently & attract the things that you want
in to your life, not the things you fear!  And once that happens, you’ll start to
realize that what you were once afraid of, simply isn’t even there!

Sounds pretty cool, doesn’t it?

How the heck do I know this?  Well, I’ve been studying it for years, taken a
few seminars, and “John” told me that…

Heh heh – almost caught myself there!  But seriously, I’m speaking from
experience.  When I first started in this business, I had all kinds of crap
holding me back.  Prior programming, a negative environment, a TON of self-
doubt, no experience, etc.  Shoot, I was about to go through a NASTY
divorce!  Gee, that was fun.

But what really held me together was the desire & belief that deep down, I had
what it took to do this business successfully, and to get more out of life that I
used to have.  With every adversity, I kept learning & gaining more
experience; then I’d apply what I’d learned on the next deal.  And the next.
After a while, it got easier & better.  I was seeing the light in the tunnel.
Yeah, I made a HUGE mess of things in the beginning, but if I had only
learned, and not acted, I shudder to think where I’d be today!

And you know what?  I can almost GUARANTEE you that any successful
person has this in common.  Go out & ask a Ron LeGrand, Lou Brown, Kris
Kirschner, Jeff Kaller, Robyn Thompson, Marshall Sylver, or whomever you
think is a success.  Ask them how they got to where they are now.  I bet you a
lobster dinner it isn’t going to be an excuse!  I bet you that whatever reason
they could have used as an excuse to hold them back was instead made in to a
reason why they did go on & become successful.  Go on… ask ‘em!  Tell ‘em
Tony sent ya!  ?  I like my lobster!

Now what to do, what to do…  Well, again, IF you’ve been to the right events,
just relax & do what they told you to do!  It works!  If you need sellers,
buyers, private lenders, or whomever, the first thing you need to do is focus
on WHAT YOU WANT and can offer them in return.  Then, either design or
‘borrow’ a marketing campaign that’s going to attract them to you like a moth
to a flame on a hot Summer night.  Again, just copy what’s working for the
successful people from them, and GO OUT & DO IT!

Then, when you’re at the next seminar, a really, really cool thing will
happen…  It will make more sense to you AND you’ll get more out of it.
Why?  Because you will have a whole new perspective on things.  You’ll be
doing it, baby!  You’ll be in the game!  Man, that is soooo cool!

But wait a minute!  What if you’re still too afraid or just not quite ready to
boldly take this action that you know you need to take?  Well, that can be
either easy or hard to overcome, depending on your outlook.

So here’s what I would suggest, again based on what has worked for me & other people I
know.  Hey, I can only tell you what I know, as I don’t want to just give you
abstract ideas or hearsay.  Ok, if you haven’t been to a Marshall Sylver event
yet (www.sylver.com), you definitely need to get to his ‘Turning Point.’
Thousands of people have benefited tremendously from this experience.  I’m
one of ‘em!  If you have been, then either go again or find someone else that
you can learn from to help overcome your issues.  Another great teacher I
could recommend is my good friend, Scott DeMoulin
(www.destinytraining.com).  I went to his event twice & got more out of it
than I could tell you about here!

Here’s something else that could help: Get a mentor!  Yeah, I know it seems
like everyone has a mentor program.  So, find one that feels right for you, and
get on board with ‘em.  Can’t find somebody, or are you just looking for
someone in your area to help you?  Why not find a successful local investor
(he who has the most signs out, or has a good reputation at your local Investor
Meetings)?  Talk to them, offer to buy their lunch or a drink, and humbly ask
for their assistance or guidance.  You’d be surprised what can happen when
you just ask!  Many times, these guys (or gals) are all too happy to assist you.
Like my friend Jason Rodriguez in Orlando – he seems to always have good
people around him, asking for his help.  And he happily gives it.  And this guy
is more than qualified.

Now, when you approach someone to ask for their help or to mentor you,
here’s how to do it:  Simply wait for an opening, when they’re not so busy,
and say, “Hello!  My name is ______.  What’s your name?”  They answer.
“You seem like a really successful investor here in _____.  Is that right?
Listen, _______, I’m having some issues that I feel are really holding me back
in this business.  If it’s ok with you, I’d like to buy you a drink (or
lunch/dinner), and ‘talk shop’ with you!  When would be a good time for us to
get together – later today or tomorrow?”

So you take ‘em out, then ask for their guidance.  Again, be honest, humble,
and sincere.  Who wouldn’t want to help someone like that?


I practically guarantee that if you follow this plan above, you’ll get great
results.  How do I know?  Because I did it, friends of mine have done it, and I
do it now – both helping many other people who ask me for help, and asking
those who are at the level where I want to go.  There’s no way I could do what
I do today without having done this yesterday.  Make sense?

So, whatever you think your excuse is, fuhgeddaboudit!  How about this:
Why not try to simply act as if it wasn’t there?  Make like a tennis shoe, and
“Just Do It.”  Pretty soon, you’ll be laughing at yourself (in a good way).
And people will start buying your lunches, too!  How do you think Ron got
that belly anyways?  (Just kidding, Ron!) ?

One last thing.  As you may or may not know, I was a professional dance
instructor of about 18 years.  Teaching people how to dance taught me a lot of
things.  When you’re in a dance environment (like life), you either lead,
follow… or get out of the way!
In other words, you’re either going to do it or
you’re not.  If you’re not doing it, chances are, you’re probably feeling some
things like doubt, fear, anxiety, etc.  But once you ‘step out on the floor’ (take
action), all that stuff simply melts away.  It starts to get…fun!

You get too busy enjoying yourself (and making money) to even think about
whatever it was that was keeping you from moving your feet to the beat &
feeling real sweet in the first place.  (Ha! Didn’t know I was a poet, too,

So, until next time, get ‘on the floor’ of life, and dance like no one is
watching.  You don’t need another seminar to do that, do you??
Or do you?



Tony Pearl lives & invests in the Washington, D.C. area. Before he started investing in real
estate, he was (and still is) a professional Ballroom & Latin Dance Instructor, Competitor,
Exhibitor, etc. of 18 years. Having success in both these fields, he began to see just how
similar they are & used his experiences as a dance teacher in his real estate transactions
to have fun making money!
You can see him at http://www.tonypearl.com.

When Words Get in the Way… How Silence Can Be Gold…in Your Negotiations!

“When Words Get in the Way… How Silence Can Be Gold…in Your Negotiations!”

By Tony Pearl

“Blah blah blah…”

That’s what we mostly hear sometimes when we’re dealing with

people. (Or is it WE are the ones saying ‘blah blah blah’?) 

In either case, I’ve noticed something lately. Let’s see if you recognize it, too…

You’re talking to somebody about their house, and when you ask them to describe their situation, they just seem to go on & on about how wonderful the house is OR how terrible what their Uncle Lou just did, or how their health is failing, etc.

And that’s when we come up with a one-word thought: “Bor-ing!”

Who cares!? Just get to the numbers! Am I right??

But wait a minute… There’s actually something very important in what they’re telling us.

If you really listen intently, you can hear it.

What? What is it? What could be so bloody

important about their medical bills that they cause you to have to stay on the phone an extra minute or two (Or twenty) and miss part of your next reality show?

Well, quite possibly everything! Believe it or not, they’re actually giving you the secrets to selling them! Or buying their house from them, if that’s what you’re trying to do.

While I’m not advocating that you just totally be quiet & let them dominate the conversation (you’ll never get off the phone that way!), I would suggest that you lead the conversation BUT make sure that you LISTEN to exactly what they’re saying when they respond to your answers.

Listen. Too often we, as the so-called ‘professional’ will open our mouths to fill in the ‘awkward’ gaps in conversation, when instead, a moment or two of silence will work to your advantage. TRUST ME!

To illustrate my point, let me tell you about a deal I did a few years ago that lead me to getting a house totally free & clear for FREE! Just because I SHUT UP when I otherwise would have talked & therefore ruined the whole thing…

There was a gentleman facing foreclosure that was referred to me by one of my bank contacts. He owed about $63,000 between the first & second mortgages, both held by the same bank.

After speaking with him, he indicated that he just wanted to get rid of the house & move on with his life.
I let him tell me all about his situation, and this let him feel very comfortable with me & what I proposed to do.

Believe me, I was sooooo tempted to stop him a few times to ‘get back to the numbers.’  He kept going on & on about his house & his situation.  I recall feeling like I was about to fall asleep on more than one occasion.

BUT if I had not had the chance to listen to how he had raised his family in the house, I never would have established the right rapport with him which later lead to the beautiful thing that happened… (Stay tuned).  So I slapped myself awake & kept listening.

Next, I spoke to the bank & made a discounted offer on the mortgages. Because of the location & condition of the house, along with my presentation of my case & the bank’s motivation, they accepted my offer.

What was my offer? For only $5,000 total for both mortgages!

They say that even a blind squirrel can occasionally find a nut.

Since I was still a relatively new investor at that time, I may have not done things perfectly.

You’ll see why in a second.

When the bank accepted my offer, they also let the owner know that they were doing so for only $5,000. I didn’t know that, so when I talked to him to get the next step set up, he surprised me when he said, “Tony, the bank let me know that they’ve accepted the offer for the $5,000.”

I was about to answer him back to let him know how I’d be handling

things, but instead remained silent.

Call it a hunch or intuition, but something just told

me to keep my big mouth shut.

Thank God I did! Because what he said next shocked me!

He told me, “I just want to let you know that I can pay that within a couple weeks.”!!!


I literally had to bite my tongue for a moment, then calmly said, “Ok. We need to get together to take care of some paperwork. When would be good for you – tomorrow or Thursday?” (I hoped he couldn’t hear me jumping up & down!)

It gets better! When we finally got together to take care of the deed, power of attorney, etc. (Yeah, this should have been one of the first things we did, but I told you I was new at the time!), I had told him to bring all his paperwork with him regarding the house.

As I was going through the papers, I noticed a delinquent tax lien on the house that totaled about $1,000.

Of course, this had to be paid somehow, sooooo…

I decided to test my ‘new powers’ of silence in a negotiation. When I came across this paper, I just held it up & looked at him with a questioning look on my face.

And it worked! Within only 2-3 seconds of ‘uncomfortable’ silence, he said, “uhhh… I can pay that, too.”

Yes! This means that I now owned this house totally free and clear…and it didn’t cost me a PENNY! Well, I take it back, I did buy his wife & him a couple chicken sandwiches for dinner. Hey, it was the least I could do, right? 

I have never forgotten the lesson I learned that day. Even now, I have found that by keeping my big mouth shut & listening more, I have been able to negotiate some sweet deals in both business & life.

Human nature never ceases to amaze me when people think that silence is bad, so they have to fill it with unneeded goobly-dee-gook & words in a conversation!

But why not try it for yourself. The next time you’re in rapport with someone in a conversation, try just being a little more quiet during some key moments.

I can almost guarantee that the other person

will try to fill in those ‘spaces’ in conversation with unneeded words.

It’s amazing!

Next, keep this in mind when you’re in a negotiation with someone.

Again, the true success of this depends on you having already established rapport with them.

And how do you do that? By LISTENING to them! (Among other things, which I’ll happily cover in a future post)

Take mental note of what they say.

You can use it to your mutual advantage later.

When they ask you a question, stay silent for a

moment & watch the magic happen!

• Here’s your million-dollar tip:

When you’re talking to a seller (or buyer), just ask them,

“What can you tell me about your situation?”

And then… (pardon me for being blunt) SHUT UP & LISTEN!!!

If you pay attention to what they tell you & not just ‘glaze over’, they will quite literally give you the keys to their house, putting untold wealth in your pockets!

Silence IS golden.

And the right use of it can bring you untold riches!

At the very least, it’ll help give you some peace & quiet…from yourself!  LOL

Finally, a wise man once said that “it is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool
than to open it and remove all doubt.”

Lesson learned.

To Your Negotiations,


BIO: Tony Pearl lives & invests in the Washington, D.C. area.
Before he started investing in real
estate, he was a professional Ballroom & Latin Dance Instructor, Competitor, Exhibitor, etc. of 18 years.
Having success in both these fields, he began to see just how similar they are & used his experiences as a dance teacher in his real estate transactions
to have fun helping others make money!
You can see his Home-Buying Website at: www.SpecialHomebuyers.com